Adult Bounce Houses

My Chiropractor once said to me “Any time you fence in an area, and pour alcohol down the middle, you have an adult bounce house”. He was referring to the events that occur around here every Spring and Fall, sometimes known as “Springtini” or “Falltini”. You buy a ticket for $20 (or $30 if you wait until the day of the event) and the event usually starts around 5:00PM. It’s held in a large shopping area parking lot, and is fenced in by hurricane fence. Local vendors set up booths, some serving alcohol, some serving food, some giving out free samples of their wares, such as shampoo or earrings.

I’ve gone to some of these events, usually on a “comp” ticket, because I’m not really into alcohol, nor am I into bumping into (or should I say “being bumped into”) by a bunch of barely turned 21-year-olds, who either yell at me for being in their way, or try to start a fight, or puke in front of me because they’ve had too much to drink.

While standing in line waiting for the gate to open at one of these events, I started talking to a group of youngsters (big mistake) about why people in this town think they need to ride around in stretch limos. In LA, most people take Town Cars, not STRETCH limos. One of the smart-assed b*tches with the group (without looking at me) said “Well….this isn’t LA!!!”. No Sh*t, Sherlock. I had that figured out before you were born!

One of the local restaurants has a limo service from the restaurant, so that you’ll have some place to park your car (as most of the parking lot, where the event is taking place, is taken up by the fenced-in area). I was fortunate to have the limo all to myself on the way over, but when I called for the driver to come and pick me up, a couple of women (older than me) jumped in ahead of me.

The bleached blonde old broad grabbed the door handle on the passenger side for the front seat, and then made some slurred remark to me. I told her “That’s OK, the important people always ride in the back, anyway!”. She slurred (loudly) all the way back to where our cars were parked. I hurried and got out of there, before she had a chance to get into her vehicle and cause danger on the road.

I’m at the “age” where I like to go to lounges, early in the evening, for one drink, while talking with friends. I think I’ll leave the “Adult Bounce Houses” to the kids….

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